Wow...4 kids is a lot. Sometimes I just stop and think to myself, "I can't believe I am a mother of 4 kids!" How did this happen?? Don't get me wrong, I love being a mom and I really mean that. I really enjoy my kids. They are good kids and I love wathching them grow up. But, as you other moms know, some days are just hard to handle! I had two days in a row like that this past week. I was just drained physically and emotionally. Rick was gone both wednesday and thursday nights and when he came home thursday night I was ready to explode. I had just put the kids to bed and sat down to relax when he walked in. I was feeling very irritable and for some reason wanted to blame him...poor guy, he had done nothing wrong. Nevertheless, he was there and had to listen to me go off on how I had had two really hard days and that he couldn't poosible understand how hard some days are when you have to run kids all over, help with homework, give undivided attention (aka wrestling matches) to the "I need more attention" 3 year old, listen to the drama on the playground from my 7 year old daughter, remember to have the girls practice piano because the recital is saturday, come up with something for dinner, exercise, grocery shop, don't forget you have a 4 month old that does need to nurse every few hours, and remember that after dinner Rick is leaving to go to his softball game...I'm sure I left off 4-5 things I went off about. I really needed to vent and you should have seen the 'deer in the headlights' look on Rick's face. I knew that look. He didn't dare talk. I know exactly what he was thinking...,"please don't let her be trying to get me to miss my next softball game". I finally just said, "I'm not asking you to miss your sports games okay!! I just need you to listen!". He visibly relaxed and I continued.
I normally keep it all together really well. But, every now and then I start to lose it and this was one of those nights. In fact I even said, "you know, I keep it together 99% of the time"...and Rick replies, "...well, 95% of the time". Wrong time to speak up Richard.
Surprisingly enough, I didn't shed a tear during my little episode. I'm not much of a crier but now and then the tears will start flowing. This was more of a "I'm ready to fight not cry" moment for me. I think our conversation (he might call it something else) lasted about an hour...maybe more...it's all a blur now.
Now, I have to say that Rick is an awesome husband and all my friends know this. He does help me all the time and despite his busy schedule always makes time for me. I really wasn't needing anything from him but just a listening ear and a little sympathy...which I did end up getting. I felt a ton better the next day and the busy schedule continues but I failed to mention that my husband told me to stop trying to do too much and then mentioned all the "projects" I have been worrying about getting done including doing some yardwork, painting my table and my rocking chair, finishing my website, and about 3 other things I am working on. He told me to relax and none of that has to be done this week. He's right of course. Why didn't I think of that???
